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Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged

Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?

(This is called "Positive Thinking" )
Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.

Doc :- How come???

Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet...

(Now this is called "Positive Attitude" )
A Man wrote to SBI. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".

(This is self confidence in its peak )