Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the center of the pillow.
It was addressed “Dad”.
With the worst premonition,
he opened the envelope and
read the letter with trembling hands :-
Dear dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you,
but I’m leaving home.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend Rosy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Rosy and she is so nice to me.
I know when you meet her you’ll like her too even with all her piercings and tattoos.
But it’s not only the passion Dad,
She is pregnant and said that
She wants to have the kid and
that we can be very happy together.
Even though Rosy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn’t so old these days is it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn’t stand in the way of our relationship, don’t you agree?
It’s true she had other boyfriends as well but I know she’ll be faithful to me in her own way.
She wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.
Rosy taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us
and we’ll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime,
we’ll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so Rosy can get better;
She sure deserves it!!
Your loving son,
Rocky.
At the bottom of the page were the letters
“PTO”
Hands still trembling, his father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true.
I’m over at the neighbor’s house.
I just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than
my report card that’s in my desk center drawer.
Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.
I love You!
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